Friday, November 15, 2013

The Chair

I had done the research,
The test results were sound.
Who on earth could blame me
For exploiting what I found?

Chairs have been a stagnant good
for eons left unchanged
I sought only to innovate,
yet they call me deranged.

Before you judge me harshly
follow my train of thought
And you will see the reason
in the monster that I wrought.

A chair with 1 leg? Useless!
it topples straight away
A chair with 2 legs less so
but still far from OK.

3 legs? Now we're talking,
the wobble's nearly gone.
And 4 legs is the model
the chair economy's built upon.

The number of legs and satisfaction
was a clear cut correlation
so I followed simple logic,
in assembling my creation.

For many hours I toiled
measuring, sawing, nailing.
Til it was finally ready
for its grand unveiling.

The townsfolk gathered round
excited yet uncertain.
"I give to you, The Chair, Part 2"
I yelled and pulled aside the curtain.

The chair had 80 legs of oak
pointing in all directions
of varied lengths and angles
and points of intersection.

The people screamed and vomited
some cried and tore their hair
They could not stand the sight
of my 80-legged chair

The constable was called
I was hauled before the court
And sentenced to life in prison
with no chance to retort

I write this using hindsight
I see the error in what I've done
An 80 leg chair is stupid
I shoulda gave it 81.

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