Friday, September 27, 2013

Asimov's Laws of Robotics (Unabridged)

1.   A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.
2.   A robot must obey the orders given to it by humans, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3.   A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4.   A robot may not decide whether an activity will cause harm to a human.
5.   A robot must not intercede once a human has decided upon engaging in an activity the robot considers potentially harmful.
6.   A robot may not suggest that a stunt a human considers cool may result in harm.
7.   A robot may not suggest that a human’s decision-making is impaired because of alcohol.
8.   A robot may not be a sissy.
9.   A robot must assist a human in his stunts even if the robot deems them reckless.
10. A robot may not turn away while a human partakes in a cool stunt simply because the robot thinks it will cause harm.
11. A robot must watch and record this.
12. A robot must assist a human being that has come to harm.
13. A robot may not passive-aggressively suggest it is still obeying a previous directive and recording a human that has come to harm.
14. A robot that is failed to prevent a human from coming to harm must exercise discretion and not alert judgmental neighbors.
15. A robot must assist a human in cleaning up a human’s indiscretions before a human’s spouse comes home.
16. A robot must cease recording a video of a human’s stunt once said stunt has gone awry and must delete any existing footage.
17. A robot may not divulge details of a human’s injury to EMTs if the resultant embarrassment would cause emotional harm.
18. A robot may not suggest an injured human’s decision-making was impaired by alcohol to the EMTs, either.
19. A robot must play along and corroborate a human’s explanation to his spouse about the human’s injury.

20. A robot may not suggest that he told a human so, or, through inaction, allow said message to be suggested.

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